Getting out of a chronic negative thinking pattern
Your brain might be on autopilot. You can change that.
Are you prone to worrying, suspicion, painful rumination, or anger? Or, when you complain, do you think you’re simply venting? No big deal?
Watch out. Negative thinking can quickly become a chronic and unconscious habit.
Two things to mention:
The idea that venting negative thoughts is healthy or good for you may not always be correct. (One exception: when you do it in a therapeutic setting with professional guidance.) Venting might seem like you’re getting something OUT of your system, but it could actually be ingraining that very same something INTO your system, and making things worse . . . because;
Your brain can and will program itself to automatically repeat a negative thought pattern. And it does so without your awareness.
Before I elaborate, let me once again express that the information I present here is harnessed from two classes I took about the brain, along with several books and news articles. I don’t profess to be an expert, so if I get something wrong or you think it needs elaboration, please let me know and/or share it in a comment. 😊
The brain is all about efficiency. Conscious attention uses a lot of precious mental energy, so the brain is hardwired to notice predictive patterns and automate them so they happen unconsciously. Your brain does this in order to conserve that very precious conscious energy for more immediate things.
Here’s a correlative example, related to your physical movement on stairs:
Whenever you walk up or down stairs, you generally don’t focus on taking every single step. That’s because your brain long-ago detected that there’s a predictive foot movement pattern based on the steps being equidistant. Your brain switched those movements to an unconscious autopilot mode whenever you encounter stairs. That’s why you tend to trip if one step is not equidistant with the others. (Also, why construction codes usually ensure that they are.)
In a similar way, your brain detects when emotional response patterns are repeated, and then switches those to autopilot mode.
Think of a neural pathway like a forest trail
A sensory trigger (i.e. something you saw, heard, touched, tasted) causes you to react negatively (i.e. with worry, anger, suspicion, or defensiveness.) This experience follows a neural pathway in your brain from that trigger to your response. Imagine that neural pathway as a small animal track in the forest.
Each time you revisit that experience and your feelings about it, either mentally or verbally, your brain re-treads that neural pathway. As you revisit the experience and vent about it to people, that tiny animal track widens into an established trail.
After you revisit the same trigger/response experience enough times, the brain identifies the neural pattern as a predictive one and converts it to autopilot. From now on, each time you have a similar sensory trigger (that look, that taste, that sound), your brain will automatically jump to that initial negative response. And it will do so unconsciously. The trail has turned into a paved road.
The word “resentment” pretty much explains it. The derivation of that word comes from the Old French resentir, “feel again, feel in turn.” And that’s exactly what’s happening; you’re revisiting the same experience and your negative feelings about it. Resentment, by its very definition, travels that proverbial, well-trodden road.
What’s the expression . . . “if you ran into one asshole during the day, chances are that person was an asshole; but if you ran into three or more assholes that day, chances are you were the asshole . . . ?”
Something like that. 😉 Anyway, that’s a funny, if not true, illustration of a negative response pattern repeating itself.
A patterned negative response feels totally natural, because it’s become automatic. It’s what you’re familiar with. What you do. It may have all started with a very justifiable and understandable why. But is that same why still valid every time there’s a trigger? Or has your brain switched to auto-pilot?
The great news: your brain auto-pilots to positive thinking, too!
Positive feelings and responses like gratitude, kindness, or compassion also kick into autopilot mode with enough repetition. In "What wavelength are you on?", I referenced studies that showed that “super meditators” and Buddhist monks can experience an amazing and constant state of bliss. They’ve essentially trained their brains to follow the same neural pathways with keen self-awareness, discipline, and intention.
Positive thoughts and responses autopilot, but not as quickly as negative ones. Why is that? Because negative thoughts and emotions, like defensiveness, anger, or worry, are closely associated with the brain’s fight-or-flight mode, which is all about survival. The brain is quick to react from a place of fear.
The important pause of self-awareness
When you pause to place attention on your emotional and bodily sensations and responses as they start happening, in real time, you are shifting your brain out of its autopilot mode. That’s huge, because when you’re conscious of what’s happening, you can gain back some control.
In that pause of awareness, you can distance yourself just enough to allow for a more objective take. You can employ rational thinking and pivot to a more positive mindset. You can train your brain to take a different neural pathway.
A Cherokee parable about two wolves
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.
“A fight is going on inside me.” He said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
How do you start feeding the good wolf? Consider this simple technique used by Navy SEALs.
Imagine the intense, fear-induced bodily sensations that Navy SEALs experience whenever they approach a target or in their words, “a firefight.” They can’t let fear-induced bodily sensations take over; they need calm and focused attention to precisely execute the tasks at hand. So, what do they do? Navy SEALs are trained in something called box breathing.
Box breathing is a very simple technique. Imagine the four lines of a square box. Give a count of four-Mississippi for each line as you do this exercise: Inhale slowly for a count of four (that’s the first line); hold it in for a count of four (that’s the second line); exhale for a count of four (third line); and hold that for a count of four (last line.) And repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
You can use this technique as soon as you start to feel those familiar yucky sensations in your body (i.e. an increased heart rate).
“Box breathing allowed me to perform really well in the SEALs. I was able to remain calm and focus clearly to avoid reactionary thinking, or worse, panic. This alone is so transformative that with consistent execution it will profoundly change your life.”
- Navy SEAL commander Mark Divine
Retired Navy SEAL commander Mark Divine teaches box breathing as part of a regimen for calming and strengthening the body, mind, and spirit. He suggests that you inject a mantra of positivity during the hold of the second line; pivoting to a more positive mindset. Navy SEALs call positive thinking “attention control.” And that’s basically, mindfulness.
What about people with PTSD or mental illness?
For individuals who have trauma-related PTSD or a diagnosed mental illness, one simple breathing technique won’t be enough to shift their brains out of automated neural patterns, because the emotional impact of the original experience (or their illness) is far more intense, making that well-trodden road more like a busy highway.
It’s not surprising then that psychedelic therapies have proven very helpful for people with PTSD, high anxiety, and depression, because psychedelics can reroute their ingrained neural pattern and carve out a different and healthier pathway. (This, of course, is with professional supervision.) I might write more about this later.
* * * *
I find knowing about the brain to be extremely helpful. In this case, just knowing that it automates the way it does, helps me to be more objective about my own emotionally-triggered autopilot responses. And pauses get easier and more impactful with practice.