My mother's CIA briefing
Preparing for the start of my father's undercover career and a move to Spain
First, I want to extend a warm welcome to new In This Life subscribers! Over 120 of you subscribed via SpyTalk’s recommendation on Substack. I’m honored. 🙏 As my bio states, I am a spy’s daughter who grew up all over the world. I write about personal experiences and CIA-related stories. I also write about other things.
For today’s post, and in consideration of my new spy-interested subscribers, I thought I’d share an amusing anecdote from my mother’s memoir, Six Car Lengths Behind an Elephant. It’s about a briefing that happened just before my family’s move to Spain, where my father began work as an undercover CIA officer. My mother was full-timing it with two toddlers and a baby (me) when the powers-that-be called her in.
This is how that went . . .
“The Briefing”
While waiting for the necessary paperwork to be activated, as well as the medical examinations, we lived in a small furnished apartment outside of Washington. Frank had a lot of meetings with unnamed people who explored the intricacies of his job, and his role to play, and then they asked to have an interview with me. I was very fatigued, and at the same time quite nervous about this briefing. I looked at it as a possible interrogation. If I struck them as unsatisfactory material, another wife would be supplied.
Johanna was still being fed three or four times a night. This was long before daddies did any daddying; all ministering to the child was for the person who gave birth. I was exhausted. Upon seeing my reflection in the mirror, I decided that wearing a hat would be a fine addition toward appearing to be a lady of not only style, but class. Good enough to be married to this man.
On my last frenzied whirl around the apartment, I discovered that Kristin and John had put apples and oranges in the toilet. My first reaction was to start screaming, so I took a Valium. A blue one. Then I ran for the bus.
It was a cold and blustery February day, and the run for the bus cleared my head. The office to which I was going had a fictitious name. When I entered the building, I found it on the vestibule directory, and when I approached the door, I wondered if I should just walk in or knock. I knocked. The door opened and I was greeted by three gentlemen who offered me a chair at a conference table. I removed my coat, but kept the hat on for effect.
One of the men started to tell me about the history of Spain, going several kings back in time. The radiators hissed. It was very hot and this man was very boring. Between the hissing and the interminable history lesson, I realized that I was nodding off. My hat had a very large brim, and I actually felt it barely touch the table as I nodded. The Valium was a mistake.
I was being asked a question. What? For the sake of my own pride, and not for them, I asked if they could tell me anything about conditions in Spain in this century, such as housing, medical care, schools. This was a mistake. One of the other men began his little lecture, and took to his feet, walking back and forth with his hands behind his back, droning about I know-not-what. I tried very hard to stay awake. I expected Peter Sellers to enter and finish the scene.
I learned nothing. I expect they might have thought I was drunk, regardless that it was nine o’clock in the morning. For God’s sake, I thought, why wouldn’t they find a woman who had lived in Spain to tell me about the fundamentals? Hearing about King Felipe in another century would not get me through a day in Madrid (and they didn’t even tell me the interesting part, that he died of syphilis).
Two hours later, I stumbled down to the street and caught a cab.
Well, at least I had a morning without children, I said to myself. That was a weird trio of whoever they were. I wondered if any one of them had ever been to Spain.
Excerpt from Six Car Lengths Behind an Elephant: Undercover & Overwhelmed as a CIA Wife and Mother by Lillian McCloy.
A new book endorsement
Last week, I received this endorsement for Six Car Lengths Behind an Elephant from intelligence journalist Zach Dorfman:
Talk about honored. If you haven’t read Dorfman’s work, I encourage you to read his feature in Rolling Stone,“The CIA Sent Him Deep Undercover to Spy on Islamic Radicals. It Cost Him Everything”. The second-half of the article, discussing “NOCs” (CIA officers working under “non official cover”), resonated strongly with me. He captures a lot of what my own NOC father, and mother, endured.
Featured talks and events
I speak at Arts & Culture events, talking about my mother’s interesting life, her memoir, and her experiences as a CIA wife. I also speak jointly with
for our Spy Daughters event, where we converse about our respective books and life experiences. I welcome speaking inquiries. Please contact me if you’d like more information. 😎Once again, a big welcome to new subscribers. Nice to have you aboard.
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Apples & oranges in the toilet! The show hat with the oversized brim! The elimination of the syphilis death! SO many witty, wonderful charming details. Storytelling at its absolute finest. ✌🏼❤️